Benson is now ten weeks and can hold his head up more and more. He also smiles a lot more and loves to coo at one of the walls in our bedroom. All the hard work of caring for him definitely pays off when he smiles at me.
While I was pregnant with Benson, I had several friends and relatives tell me that when they had their babies, they just felt so much love and never realized how much you could love one person until they had their children. They retold their stories of the first time they held their newborn baby and how emotionally it was because their hearts were full for this child and just love them so much.
I was excited to have this feeling and when Scott put Benson in my arms for the first time, it was not the thought that I had and the only feeling I felt was nervessness. Secretly I felt like a bad mother but never told anyone of this disappointment.
I've been trying to get a night schedule down for Benson and part of the routine I'd like for him to have is reading stories to him before bed. Last week I read to him "Love you forever" and after the second page of the story, my heart started to fill and i began to cry when it read
"I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
as long as I'm living
my baby you'll be"
I finally know what so many of these women were telling me. I'm so glad that we have Benson and he has brought so much happiness in our lives
6 comments:
It's a horrible feeling, isn't it? I was the same way with Tyler. All I felt the first time I held him and all during our hospital stay was apprehension, and I definitely did not feel like he was my baby. I think, for me, that feeling of overwhelming love didn't come until we were home, and I was taking care of him constantly. Kind of that whole you love who you serve thing, right?
this makes me want to cry. So cute!
so sweet. It took me about 6 weeks to really bond with Seth. I had some post partum blues, and it took him getting really sick and going to Primary Children's Hospital before I realized that I couldn't live without him. With my other three it was automatic...it's not necessarily the same experience for every one, or for every child...don't feel like a bad mom...I'm sure you are a great mom! He's lucky to have you!
Your little one is darling---and will always be your "baby" even when he's 6'3 and mouthy! But your love for him only gets bigger!
Hey, mention to Todd & Lori that I'd like an invite to their blog. I was a faithful reader, but obviously not faithful enough, cuz I didn't know they had gone private!
Auntie Yvonne
I love this. I'm so glad you posted about your feelings. Benson is so cute.
I'll love you forever is one of my favorite kids' books. it's so cute, and so are you :) you're such a good mom i know it - you're too caring and loving to not be!
Post a Comment